So I went back over to Imagination Prompts to find something new to write about and after clicking through a few dumb ones, I got this question: What is the most valuable lesson you've learned in your life?
Immediately I had an answer, and even better, an answer I think is important for people to learn and consider and it's not something that's always apparent and it's often hard to do. My biggest life lesson is this: Never burn your bridges. Now we've heard that saying a million times I'm sure, but what does it really mean? I think there is the obvious, but then there are some nuances that you have to remember.
Overall Message 1: Don't be a jerk to anyone that you've had some sort of personal or professional relationship with in the past.
You never, ever will know when your paths will cross with that person again. Whether it's for a job recommendation or opportunity in the future or something else, you just never know. Even if someone has been a beast to work with or for and you really feel like saying something mean and nasty on your way out the door, it's just a better idea to be pleasant and cordial. It might feel great in the moment, but what other benefit do you get by "telling someone off?" Uh, probably nothing. If they really were a jerk, I'm willing to bet that they don't care what you think and it isn't going to change their attitude. But it will change their opinion of you. And should your name ever, ever come up you don't want the last thing they remember was how you yelled at them or said something mean/immature/spiteful. Although it's particularly important in professional relationships, I think the same can be said about personal relationships as well.
So 30 seconds on ranting might feel good for those 30 seconds (and maybe a little longer) but the ramifications can last much longer and be much more powerful than "it feels good." In my experience people who handle difficult situations well are usually admired more because they handle things gracefully. Be classy, not trashy. You don't want to be someone's "OMG, this one time" story. Usually when someone looks back in time, they don't remember the minor things, but they will remember a huge blow up. So if someone is asked about you and you haven't given them a big blow out they'll usually say something nice.
Overall Message 2: Even if it isn't a split that is dramatic make an effort to stay in touch because you'll never know when someone will be useful to you.
There are a ton of people I've met in my life that in the grand scheme of things don't matter much to my daily life. But on more than one occasion I've had something fruitful come my way because I kept in touch with, or minimally would make small talk at events with, people in my life that I pretty much thought I was "done" with. You never know when someone you thought was inconsequential has a great connection to someone you do think is consequential in your life. If you've maintained some kind of contact (email updates, small talk at social events, etc.) they will have better things to say about you and will be more willing to go that extra step for you. Again, people will remember you for the pleasant things unless you give them a reason to really remember the awful things. And it's always better for them to say "I think she's been working on X, Y, and Z," rather than "I haven't talked to her for 5 years." As much as I hate networking and schmoozing, it is one of the most valuable skills I've ever learned.
It's also helpful to really keep people up-to-date on your life in case an unknown opportunity arises. When someone is thinking "Who could I offer this to or let know about this great opportunity?" if you are salient in their mind they are more likely to call you and let you know about the great opportunity. If you haven't talked to someone in eons they may not know what you are currently doing, much less remember who you are.
Anyway, that is one of the most important things that I've learned in my life so far. Just one more pearl of wisdom to add to your stack of Lindsay's Life Lessons.
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