Me and My Mustache

Hello Pretty All True friends! I figured since I was a featured blogger I should come up with something new and fresh to keep you all entertained so you will not feel that Kris wasted her time and space talking me up. So without further ado...

Confession: I have a wee bit of a lady mustache.

I'm no hairy Eastern European woman, but without maintenance I do have a wee shadow with some darker hairs here and there. I even tried to take a picture of it with my iPhone but it is so unimpressively hairy that it didn't look like anything other than a picture of my lip. I am all about baring my soul here people. But sadly, there was no soul to bare on this one.

However, amongst my family members, my mustache is often a punch line to a joke. Hahaha, very funny. Anyway.

Last summer I had a pimple on the area between my actual lip and my nose. I was talking about how annoying it was while I was driving in the car with my lovely girlfriend. I said "Ugh, this pimple on my upper lip is so annoying." And Ange says "That's not your upper lip." And I was like "It totally is. What the hell else would you call the plane of skin between my actual lip and my nose?" She says "It's just your face." Well that's a rather vague explanation. What if I needed to describe it to a blind person? Or to someone on the other end of a phone? Like 911? If I said "On my face" they would say "where?" On my upper lip, duh.

So we meet up with my baby sister for some reason or another. My baby sister who is the former troll-haired Somalian who thinks me and my other sister pick on her way too much (this will be important in a minute). So I say to my baby sister, while pointing to my pimple, "What would you classify this part of my face as?"

And baby sister says "Do you want me to tell the truth?"

And of course I say "YES, why the hell else would I ask you?"

And she says "(giggle) I would say it's your mustache!"

Baby sister likes to pretend like me and other sister are all kinds of mean. She gives as good as she gets.

More laughing hysterically.

And then? My baby sister is dead to me.

And then baby sister and Ange are all hysterically laughing together. Laughing so hard they are leaning on each other to hold themselves up from their peals of laughter. And then my girlfriend is dead to me.

And then I am alone. All alone in the big lonely world with no one to keep me company. No one, except for...my mustache. Bitches.