Saturday, August 14, 2010

How to Create a Scene Without Really Trying

Step One: Fly to Nigeria.

Step Two: Wait until it's rained for about 3 days straight. If half of the streets in the city are flooded then you are on track.

Step Three: Put on a pair of flip flops and some clothes you don't mind getting a bit dirty. I prefer my Walmart $2.50 brand, but I'm guessing any pair will do.

Step Four: Go to the market and walk through the wet and muddy streets. Make it known that you are American. Being white will do just fine (sorry to my friends of might need to open your mouth and speak in your oh-so-identifiable American accent).

Step Five: Be careful that you don't get in the way of the "Indiscipline Police" who are likely smashing the tables and slicing the umbrellas of the vendors who dare spill out of their booth space.

Step Six: As you walk you will become more and more muddy. This is when people will start to lose their minds. And point. And stare. And say "OH NO AUNTY! YOU ARE SOOO MUDDY!"

Congratulations, you've successfully created a scene with very little effort.

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