Just call me Fat Fatty

Sad day for me. I went to the gyno for my annual check up yesterday and was reminded about how overweight I am about 85 times in 35 minutes. I mean, clearly I am aware that I need to lose weight, but I didn't expect to be so accosted by my gyno. I mean, it makes sense. I don't see my family practice physician on a regular basis...I probably haven't been to see him in about 2 years and the last time was just for renewing my migraine prescription. So she was just doing her job. I'm not mad at her, but I just didn't expect it and I would have been more mentally prepared if I had.

I've been meaning to renew my quest for personal health, and just haven't gotten serious about it. It's really hard for me to lose weight and I have to be pretty obsessive about it if I want to see serious change. I lost about 35 pounds about 4 years ago but I felt like I developed a very unhealthy relationship with food and working out and when I broke my foot (due to over zealous working out) I laid off it for a while. But I know that I need to lose weight and although it isn't harming my health at the moment, it will eventually so I need to get serious about it. I guess it comes down to either being unhealthy overall or having an unhealthy obsessive relationship with food and exercise. I think I'll choose the later. It seems the least damaging in the long run. Hopefully I can try and do it better this time, but we'll see.

And I'm totally kidding about Fat Fatty. I actually have a very positive self-image. I know I'm overweight and I need to work on it, but by no means is my self worth determined by the number of the scale. And I know that I don't need to be a stick woman and that Fat does not automatically equal unhealthy, but there is a difference between being pleasantly plump and obese. There is lots of research that supports that being very overweight is terrible for your health, particularly in the long run, so that is what my goal is based on. Getting down to a manageable weight that I feel comfortable with. I know I'll never be stick-stickly and I am definitely ok with that.

I had already scheduled a physical activity date with Alexis for Monday, so that was a good step forward anyway. I decided to call my mom and see if she wanted to join us. We swam for a little over 30 minutes. We decided that we'll swim on Mondays and Wednesdays, and I'll try and figure out some other activities the other days of the week (while appropriately scheduling rest for my body).

I also re-downloaded Diet & Exercise Assistant which is like an "app" for Palms (I just checked their website and apparently they have it for iphone and computers as well). It's a really good program that helps you track your calories and such. I bought it previously when I embarked on my last lifestyle change. I stopped using it when I realized that I was getting a little out of control with the whole thing. But I am gonna try it again and hopefully do a better job this time.

My goal is to try and lose 30 lbs. by the end of the year. That's 2 lbs. a week. It's a big goal but I figure if I don't challenge myself then I won't be as successful. I'd rather fail while working hard towards a big goal, then surpass a dumb goal. I can re-evaluate when needed. I'll be sure to keep you updated with my progress!