Saturday, September 26, 2009

I bit my tongue!

One of the greatest moments in sister history has been recorded for posterity (although I'm not sure where the tape is at the moment). The fact that it is recorded makes the whole thing even better. If I could find the tape and figure out how to turn it into a digital file it would soooo be worth posting. Hilarious!

So remember the Talk Boy? Made infinitely more famous by Home Alone 2?

Well Leslie got one for Christmas one year and one of the big bonuses from our point of view is that it had a little switch that allowed you to synthesize your voice. You could record it on normal and hit the switch and it would make your voice slower and deeper or you could record it on slow and then play it on normal speed and you'd sound like a chipmunk. So of course we spent hours recording ridiculous things; Leslie and Hilary spent considerably more time than me. They used to make up weird shows and interview each other. One of the most famous was "The Three Quarters of an Inch Show" (who knows what they did for that show...measure things maybe?" and "Dweebs and Geeks....Of California." I'm telling you, we're all weirdos. Some of our favorite family phrases (besides "And then we die?") come from the Talk Boy tapes. For instance "wacko y wacko" which was used to describe one of the character's behavior on "Dweebs and Geeks...of California." The definition literally was "when something is so funny you laugh and your head falls off." To which the reply is always " head's falling off." (Sisters, we really need to find the tape!). Another phrase is "And when he drives, he always crashes," which described the older brother's character.

So besides the ridiculous "shows" they recorded, the single funniest recording I've ever heard occurred on a random day at Grandma's house. Leslie starts off the tape singing Green Day and talking about how bored she is, which is hilarious alone, and then you hear Leslie asking Hilary to "name something you want to do" and then Hilary shrieking and crying at the top of her lungs. Now, Leslie's never been a very sensitive child, but the conversation that ensues is just golden.

Leslie: What did you do?
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: What. Did. You. Doooo?
Hilary: (garbled) I bit my tongue!
Leslie: You bit your tongue?
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Why did you do that?
Hilary: I was jumping off the slide.
Leslie: You're fine.
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Oh shut up
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Ugh, SHUT UP
Hilary: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: WELL, you shouldn't have been jumping down from there!
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Ugh, I hit my nose and I didn't cry forever!
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Ugh, well, you know you shouldn't be jumping down from there and it's your own fault!
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Oh wah. Booooo hoooooo.
Hilary: EEEEEEEEE. Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Hehe! Cry for the live audience, right here on Talk Boy!
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Thank you for your needs!

What I didn't mention is that this is all set on the chipmunk speed. So she's taunting Hilary with this tiny squeeky voice which makes it even more hilarious. Clearly Leslie was destined to be an elementary school teacher. Such sympathy.

It's cases like this where Hilary likes to remind us that we were jerks and that is why she gets grumpy easily.

And you know what we say to that?

WAHHHH, I hit my nose and I didn't cry forever!


NY Diva said...

My brother had a Talk Boy. Hilarity ensued, but not nearly as much as this story!

Mom said...

Dang, we gotta find that tape. The Three Quarters of an Inch show lives!

Leslie Reed said...

unfortunately i dont think the 3/4 of an inch show is on the talkboy. that show originated pre-talkboy history. also, the show referenced 2nd is actually title Dweebs, Dorks, and Geeks. Of California. You musnt forget the dorks.

Shireanian said...

AHEM: you guys are jerks. haha