Monday, May 14, 2012

365: Hazards of the Trade

I had about $350 left in my professional development accounts this year and it needed to be spent by the end of the semester or I'd lose it so I decided to invest in some "instructional aids."

Specifically: contraceptives.

Have you ever spent $350 on contraceptives at once? It buys a TON of stuff. I ordered everything through Amazon and since they operate an online space for many smaller sellers I ended up with 16 different dealers sending me things. Dental dams here, condoms and lube there, etc.

Well apparently two things happen when you have stuff shipped to the university. First they open all the packages that come in and check out your stuff. That's kind of bunk but I guess if someone sends me anthrax then it won't be me who gets it. Secondly, apparently you aren't supposed to get "personal stuff" shipped to you at work.

I'm sure you can guess what happened next.

When I went into the office this morning out Department Administrative Assistant was cracking up. Apparently someone in shipping had been frantically trying to get a hold of me all day Friday (I worked from home on Friday) because he was worried about the massive orders of contraceptives I was getting. He finally called Marie up and was trying to get the story out delicately to her without busting me or embarrassing himself or her. The best part is that Marie immediately knew what he was trying to get to but instead of bailing him out she let him spit out the whole story before she explained that I'm the sex professor and none of that stuff was "personal" but was for instructional purposes. She thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. I did too. I'm still waiting on more packages so let's see how embarrassed I can make them before it's all said and done!

All I can say is that it's a good thing I didn't have more money because sex toys were next on my list.

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