Damn Pointy Corner

So many ouchies

Caused by that stupid corner

I won't miss that point

365: Gangrene

I think my body is determined to get gangrene before all is said and done. I sliced my thumb open on wine bottle foil yesterday and cut my index finger on a tin can of dog food this evening. They are like paper cuts on SPEED. They need to heal up before we leave next week or else I'm sure they'll get infected with some crazy disease I've never heard about. Because that's what always happens to me in foreign countries.

I also like how my thumb looks all wacky in this shot and my middle finger on the right hand side looks like it's pregnant. Weird camera angles for sure!

365: Deadly Little Buggers

This is a little seed pod thingie that falls off some trees around campus. Looks kind of like a puffer fish and I'm here to let you know, just as deadly. It was chilly (by CA standards mind you) and rainy today so as I quickly walked across campus I was more concerned about staying warm and dry than about little time bombs waiting to happen. Well the heel of my shoe stepped down on one of these miniature boobytraps and I nearly flew off the sidewalk. Thankfully my gracefulness was working today and I didn't fall down. After a quick adjustment and a furious look around to see if anyone noticed (nope!) I continued on my way. Whew. Disaster avoided.

365: Whoops!

I bought some honey roasted sunflower seeds last night in ye olde bulk section at Winco because I thought they'd be a GREAT snack. Well turns out the only thing great about them is how they have the ability to explode out of their little bag and all over my desk! Rats!

365: Awful

This is how I feel tonight as expressed through crappy food I'm eating for dinner (tortilla roll-up). 

Why so x's over my eyes you ask? Well like a dick, when I was leaving class I decided I NEEDED to check my email. And also like a dick, I missed the third stair from the bottom of the staircase and tumbled down the stairs nearly breaking both of my legs...possibly breaking one of my legs. Of course broken pride hurts more than broken legs so I catapulted myself into an upright position to make it look like EVERYTHING WAS FINE. Luckily, there was no one around to see my tragic fall and I was able to hobble over to a bench to gulp back my tears of agony until I had enough energy to hobble back to my office. My leg has throbbed continuously since then. 

If I wake up tomorrow and can't walk I won't be surprised.

Call me Grace

It's no secret that I *may* be the clumsiest person on the planet. Srsly. I fall down more than anyone I know. 

Well, except maybe my mother. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Pun TOTALLY intended. 

Today I got home and, as usual, was going to let the maniac dogs out so they could pee and frolic and generally act like idiots. Being that it was the day time and I didn't actually need to turn on the hall light to see I mozied down the hallway towards the back door. 

The next thing I knew I was tragically falling down into a heap on the floor. 

What caused me to twist my right ankle so hard it took my breath away, nearly fold my left foot in half, bump and scrape my left knee on ceramic tile and smash my right shoulder into the wall?

The answer lay in the pee that I now laid in. 

Fucking asshole dogs. Thanks for peeing in the hallway. I was gone all of 20 minutes. 

And to add insult to (serious) injury, they were still jumping all over my head trying to get to the back door. As if I was letting them out now. I took my clothes off right there in the hallway and got in the shower. 

My loving partner cleaned up the mess and let them out when she got home 10 minutes later. Love her.

Hate those jerks sometimes.

Sometimes I fall down...

Grace is not my middle name.

I fall down. A lot.

I'm way clumsy. I fall down more than the average person. I'd say I fall down at least twice a month. Sometimes more. Last winter I fell down three times on the way to class. My office is less than 100 yards away from the classroom. The two people I was with were simultaneously hysterical and wondering how I'd made it this far in life. I have no idea.

One time I thought I'd try belly dancing for fitness. I was demonstrating my new moves and someone slipped on the carpet and totally wiped out. Now whenever my family hears the words "belly dancing" they can only think about me laying in a heap on the floor. Lovely.

My sisters are Harry Potter fanatics. My baby sister is also a giant nerd. My mom made her a Harry Potter cape one year for Christmas. It was a to-the-floor black velvet cape. Srsly nerdy. It buttoned at the neck and had a hood. One day I decided to act like a total weirdo and put on her cape and was running screaming through our rooms and pretending to be Harry Potter. My middle sister, who's room was ALWAYS a disgusting mess, had left a tear out poster of Josh Hartnett (probably from Bop Magazine or Tiger Beat or something lame) on the floor and as I stepped on it my leg shot out across the floor and I collapsed on the floor in a heap. Josh Hartnett was ripped in the process. I was mad that I gave myself a carpet burn and twisted leg; Leslie was mad about Josh Harnett. 

This has just been a brief overview of memorable fallings down. There are hundreds and hundreds more I could share but frankly I'm having sympathy pains in my body right now so I think I'm going to go lay down.