So I was in church yesterday, as per usual for a Sunday. We were well into our third hour and I was desperately trying to fend off the sleepiness threatening to overtake me, so I was looking at my iphone and deciding if I would randomly read the bible or if I should catch up on some notes in my research journal (I use Momonote, a truly awesome app). In general, I try and be respectful in church even if I'm not totally into the 4 hour service so that's why I stuck to these two options. I didn't really feel like reading so I decided to write some notes.
Now three additional notes before I carry on. The first, like many churches, this church has ushers that assist with various things (offerings, seating, etc.). Unlike some churches they stand at rapt attention for the entire length of the service. We have the same guy in our section, the Minister's Stand, every week. We, meaning me, M, A, T, Baby F & D, sit in the back of the section and try to stay out of the walking path that is right in front of our chairs.
The second note is that Nigerians are some note taking fools. I don't know if I just never noticed this before or if it's particular to the people I'm hanging out with, but seriously, nearly everyone in church takes detailed notes about the sermons each week. They write down all the bible verses, who spoke that week, and key messages. Like the most conscientious students ever.
The third and final, is that M got a new Blackberry this week. Blackberry is the BIG thing in Nigeria. For some reason the cell phone companies have special deals for Blackberry phones, but no other Smartphones. My iphone works but I have to pay the same rates as any other joe with a junk phone. With Blackberry you get unlimited data usage for 5,000 Naira a month (about $33). And Blackberry, if you weren't in the know, has a private text messaging like system that was built by and for Blackberry exclusively. It's called BB Messaging, or "pinging" for short. Nigerians love some pinging. M has been using an iphone but since he is here for another 4 years (he's going to University here) he decided it would be a better investment to use a Blackberry. I'd have to agree. If I were gonna be here for longer than 4 more months I'd probably get one too. But for now I'll be conscious with my iphone use and not get as much bang for the buck. Anyway, long story to say, M is OBSESSED with his new phone and is pretty much glued to it.
So I am writing away in my notes and I think M is goofing around (he also is not a fan of the 4 hour services) when the Usher for our section comes over and hisses at us "Are you MESSAGING???" And I'm like, whoa, back the truck up Chuck, why are you in my biz? And I flash my screen and say "NO, I'm taking notes." So he decides to leave me alone and harass M instead. I didn't hear what excuse M gave, but I was really like, UGH. Don't try and call me out! Everyone else was taking their notes, but they just happened to be doing it with a notebook and pen. I was using my phone. I mean, I wasn't exactly taking notes about what the sermon was about, but still, I was paying more attention than I would be if I were dozing off, which is what I would have been doing otherwise. I was a little annoyed. I didn't even get in this much trouble when I was in Catholic Sunday school!
And with every story in Nigeria it seems, there was a funny twist at the end. As we were leaving church the guy says "Hey, remember I told you how much I like you bible?" My CATHOLIC bible that I used to bring every week before I downloaded my iphone bible app? Ah yes, I remember you telling me you liked it for whatever reason I have no idea. He says "Before you leave, I wish that you would give it to me." Seriously? Besides the fact that it is a Catholic bible and you are not Catholic, YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO BUST MY CHOPS DUDE. I gave him a non-committal answer and told him I had to go. Some people!
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Church. Show all posts
Monday, August 16, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Please, I want to marry you!
In my 5 years working on African issues and in Africa the one thing that I find frustrates most females going to Africa is the ever-present annoyance of men trying to get in your pants. I know that is blunt and it sounds harsh, but in my personal experience (anecdotally of course) this goes across all African men I have ever met, be it Nigerian, Congolese, Gambian, etc. I really hate to generalize, particularly across one of the largest and most populated continents on the planet, so please know I do not do this lightly.
Luckily it is usually done in a light and playful manner and not in a scary, threatening manner. I have NEVER felt like I was going to be assaulted, just oogled, sometimes in a manner we would call “sexual harassment” in the US. Here it isn’t. It’s just standard practice. Particularly given the fact that American girls tend to send unconscious signals to the men they are interacting with on a daily basis. Those “unconscious signals” are being overly nice (which is very American), always wanting to help (Americans love some underdogs), and just being an American (but particularly a larger white woman). I know, I know, that’s pretty much an all inclusive list. So pretty much, if you are an American woman, you will be sexually harassed, or at least intensely flirted with.
The interesting thing is that for the most part, this behavior continues even outside of Africa amongst the African men I know. I have been hit on or propositioned by the majority of African men living in the US that I know (or really, even meet). Not every single one, but nearly. It seems that it’s a hard cultural habit to break. It used to drive me nuts, but eventually I learned to ignore it and deflect. It still bothers a lot of newbies, and it used to bother Ange a lot, though now that she has traveled with me and has met lots of Africans herself she’s becoming more used to it and not as upset. It’s probably the number one thing that drives new visitors to the brink of losing their minds. If they can move past it, their experience is usually a great one. If not, they get caught up and really annoyed.
This has been my experience up until now. However, for the first time in my history of working with African men and living in Africa I am basically free from this. I didn’t really notice it at first, but one day I last week I went to the market and got a marriage proposal while I was trying to buy a set of plastic drawers. After explaining that I was already married, he basically said any white American girl would do. I had to promise to send him one in exchange for the deal I negotiated with him for my drawers. So ladies, there is a man in Benin just waiting for you. Sorry I had to sell you out, but 1000 Naira was at stake! After that experience I all of a sudden realized that that was the first time in the 2 and a half weeks that I’d been here that I’d had that happen. I had to think really hard about it, but nope, hadn’t happened. Of course now that I am conscious of it I am looking at for it. And still, a week and a half later, it hasn’t happened!
Of course it is refreshing for me to not have to constantly be on my guard but it’s also interesting from my research perspective. Why aren’t men flirting/harassing me? Is it really their staunch religious views? In the past I’ve worked with men from a variety of different religious backgrounds (from Catholics to Muslims) and no matter what their religious beliefs about sex and behavior are supposed to be, I find they very rarely “walk the talk” when it comes to obeying religious doctrine.
So, on the one hand it is surprising that in this Pentecostal environment people are (so far) obeying their religious beliefs and guidelines, but on the other hand it isn’t surprising because that is what you would (stereotypically) expect. And if it isn’t the influence of religion, then what is it? It could be that I am in a really weird space in terms of age…most of the people in church are older and married so perhaps I am too young for them (though this has NEVER stopped anyone before)? And my prospective interviewees, students, are all much younger than me, so maybe that has something to do with it? Right now I am leaning towards explanation #1, which is of course very interesting and relevant to my work. I’ll have to keep thinking about this one.
Luckily it is usually done in a light and playful manner and not in a scary, threatening manner. I have NEVER felt like I was going to be assaulted, just oogled, sometimes in a manner we would call “sexual harassment” in the US. Here it isn’t. It’s just standard practice. Particularly given the fact that American girls tend to send unconscious signals to the men they are interacting with on a daily basis. Those “unconscious signals” are being overly nice (which is very American), always wanting to help (Americans love some underdogs), and just being an American (but particularly a larger white woman). I know, I know, that’s pretty much an all inclusive list. So pretty much, if you are an American woman, you will be sexually harassed, or at least intensely flirted with.
The interesting thing is that for the most part, this behavior continues even outside of Africa amongst the African men I know. I have been hit on or propositioned by the majority of African men living in the US that I know (or really, even meet). Not every single one, but nearly. It seems that it’s a hard cultural habit to break. It used to drive me nuts, but eventually I learned to ignore it and deflect. It still bothers a lot of newbies, and it used to bother Ange a lot, though now that she has traveled with me and has met lots of Africans herself she’s becoming more used to it and not as upset. It’s probably the number one thing that drives new visitors to the brink of losing their minds. If they can move past it, their experience is usually a great one. If not, they get caught up and really annoyed.
This has been my experience up until now. However, for the first time in my history of working with African men and living in Africa I am basically free from this. I didn’t really notice it at first, but one day I last week I went to the market and got a marriage proposal while I was trying to buy a set of plastic drawers. After explaining that I was already married, he basically said any white American girl would do. I had to promise to send him one in exchange for the deal I negotiated with him for my drawers. So ladies, there is a man in Benin just waiting for you. Sorry I had to sell you out, but 1000 Naira was at stake! After that experience I all of a sudden realized that that was the first time in the 2 and a half weeks that I’d been here that I’d had that happen. I had to think really hard about it, but nope, hadn’t happened. Of course now that I am conscious of it I am looking at for it. And still, a week and a half later, it hasn’t happened!
Of course it is refreshing for me to not have to constantly be on my guard but it’s also interesting from my research perspective. Why aren’t men flirting/harassing me? Is it really their staunch religious views? In the past I’ve worked with men from a variety of different religious backgrounds (from Catholics to Muslims) and no matter what their religious beliefs about sex and behavior are supposed to be, I find they very rarely “walk the talk” when it comes to obeying religious doctrine.
So, on the one hand it is surprising that in this Pentecostal environment people are (so far) obeying their religious beliefs and guidelines, but on the other hand it isn’t surprising because that is what you would (stereotypically) expect. And if it isn’t the influence of religion, then what is it? It could be that I am in a really weird space in terms of age…most of the people in church are older and married so perhaps I am too young for them (though this has NEVER stopped anyone before)? And my prospective interviewees, students, are all much younger than me, so maybe that has something to do with it? Right now I am leaning towards explanation #1, which is of course very interesting and relevant to my work. I’ll have to keep thinking about this one.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Baptism by FIRE!
I know many of you have commented on and been concerned about my frequent attendance at church. No worries! I am fine and I haven't joined a cult! A big portion of my research centers around the influence of religion and church on students lives and their sexual decision-making process, so it would follow that I would spend a lot of time in church. I down-played this aspect when discussing my trip because I knew everyone would likely think I am even crazier than you already thought, so while it may be surprising to you, it isn't to me.
So on top of my research interests you have the added aspects of I am living in Nigeria and I am living with and researching Evangelical Pentecostals. Both of these generalized groups go to church a lot and it's basically multiplied by two. So church, a lot. A LOT. Regular Sunday service is between 3 and 4 hours long. And then there is Bible study on Wednesdays and a Friday evening service for good measure. When school is in session the University has a student led fellowship on Tuesday afternoons and mandatory Friday chapel service. So yeah, lots of church. These people are SERIOUS about their faith. The Church is located on Faith Way, and their house is located on Redemption Ave. No messing around here. I am not required to go to anything and I have the free will to do whatever I want so if I am attending church you can be sure it is my choice. Part of it is research related and part of it is courtesy to my hosts.
The past week has been their annual women's conference. The conference is 5 days and basically runs from 5:30 am to 9 or 10 pm with 2 breaks (2-3 hours) during the day. I did not go to ALL of the sessions, but I tried to make 1-2 per day. Needless to say, even with skipping I spent about 40 hours in church this week. I learned a lot about their personal religious beliefs and witnessed a lot of different things. Overall it was good. The only real downside is that I have been exhausted all week! And add on the overwhelming heat inside the church and the lengthy periods of sitting and listening it made it very hard to stay awake sometimes. But I managed! All in all though, it really helped to give me some perspective on the role of faith in people's lives here, a good solid view of the beliefs of the people in the church, and access to a lot of different people who talked to me at length and gave me some new perspectives on different aspects related to my research.
Anyway, no worries, all is fine with me!
So on top of my research interests you have the added aspects of I am living in Nigeria and I am living with and researching Evangelical Pentecostals. Both of these generalized groups go to church a lot and it's basically multiplied by two. So church, a lot. A LOT. Regular Sunday service is between 3 and 4 hours long. And then there is Bible study on Wednesdays and a Friday evening service for good measure. When school is in session the University has a student led fellowship on Tuesday afternoons and mandatory Friday chapel service. So yeah, lots of church. These people are SERIOUS about their faith. The Church is located on Faith Way, and their house is located on Redemption Ave. No messing around here. I am not required to go to anything and I have the free will to do whatever I want so if I am attending church you can be sure it is my choice. Part of it is research related and part of it is courtesy to my hosts.
The past week has been their annual women's conference. The conference is 5 days and basically runs from 5:30 am to 9 or 10 pm with 2 breaks (2-3 hours) during the day. I did not go to ALL of the sessions, but I tried to make 1-2 per day. Needless to say, even with skipping I spent about 40 hours in church this week. I learned a lot about their personal religious beliefs and witnessed a lot of different things. Overall it was good. The only real downside is that I have been exhausted all week! And add on the overwhelming heat inside the church and the lengthy periods of sitting and listening it made it very hard to stay awake sometimes. But I managed! All in all though, it really helped to give me some perspective on the role of faith in people's lives here, a good solid view of the beliefs of the people in the church, and access to a lot of different people who talked to me at length and gave me some new perspectives on different aspects related to my research.
Anyway, no worries, all is fine with me!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Swamped
I think yesterday was the first day that I didn't post anything since I've been here minus the few days we had no internet. Things have been CRAZY here this week. This week is the Church's women's conference and that means not only do we have approximately 30+ international guests (some from various places across the US, but also England & Cote I'vore) but also there are three sessions a day at the church. Luckily I do not have to attend them all or I might drop dead. The evening session alone lasts between 5 and 7 hours. Seriously. Then there is the early morning session (from 5:30 am to 8 am) and the mid-day session (9 am-2 pm). The other good thing is that since we are international guests we usually miss the first hour which is just praise/worship singing. Even still, exhausting. Yesterday I joked that I could never be Pentecostal because I just don't have the stamina and energy. One of the Americans said "I didn't think anyone had this amount of energy!" and they are Pentecostal too so that made me feel a bit better. The conference will be over technically tomorrow, but as we know, it really leads in to Sunday service. The groups leave on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning so after that normalcy will resume and hopefully I'll get down to business. I was lucky to catch the University's chapel service today and said hello to some students. Next week I'm going to try and do some more meeting and greeting so I can start gearing up for interviews. Can't wait to finally feel like I am making giant leaps of progress rather than just small steps.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Sundays
So last night before bed I inquired about the Sunday schedule. Being that the M's are part of a major Evangelical Pentecostal empire I knew that a big part of the day would revolve around church but I wasn't sure what else to expect. L said that breakfast is basically "make/grab your own" and that everyone should be ready to depart by 8:45 for the church. Then she said "If church is short like it was last week we should be done around 11:30...if it's "typical" then we'll be done by 1." WHOA!
Now I have to interject to say that the majority of church I've attended in my life has been Catholic Church. I was raised Catholic (until my family stopped attending in my early teens) and I actually have a high proportion of friends who are Catholic (total coincidence). I have attended other churches, but not many, and never an Evangelical Pentecostal church. If you've ever been to a Catholic Church service then you've basically been to them all. Catholic Church, for those who don't know, basically have the same format everywhere in the world. Even the few services I have attended in Nigeria have been basically the same. There is a little variation here or there but basically you do the same thing and it takes an hour. You sit and listen, sing a few solemn hymns and take communion. So when L said 2.5 to 4 hours I was a little shocked.
I headed back over to my room in the compound next door; one of the staff (A, one of the house women/nanny to baby F) accompanied me since it was late and dark. However, apparently the lightbulbs in the common area of the guest house were missing or not working so it was really dark over there. I didn't care because I was just ready to collapse into bed. I told A that the light in my bathroom was also burned out thinking that it would be helpful for her to know since they would be arranging for the common area bulbs to be replaced. She was very concerned about it even though I assured her it was fine. About 10 minutes later A, T (another house woman/baby F's nanny), and O (one of the M's adopted children) came to fetch me. I said I was ok with it, but if it were an issue of "comfort" on the M's part then I would come back over. They insisted that L was not comfortable with me being over there with not much light. So back over to their house I went, which was fine.
When my alarm went off I couldn't believe it. I slept like a rock, but felt like a bulldozer had rolled over me. Jet lag caught up with me! I knew once I got up I'd be ok. So I pulled myself out of bed and headed back over to my room to shower. Yesterday when I took a shower I had assumed that they'd just turned the water heater on, but this morning I realized it had been on all night and it still wasn't hot. Luckily the ground water stays close to the surface so it wasn't freezing, and the cool water helped to wake me up. L had said that native outfits were appropriate for church so I got the chance to wear one of my outfits that I had made earlier this year but haven't yet had the chance to wear. I grabbed some toast and drank a whole bottle of water (I was feeling dehydrated from my day of travel) and we were off to church!
It was kind of cool getting to ride with L because again, since she & F are the heads of the church she of course gets special treatment. We had a front row parking space and got special seats in the church.
Speaking of the church, it is BIG. I think L said that it seats 5,000, but as of lately attendance had been down. If I had to estimate (and I'm pretty horrible at estimating) there were probably 1,500 people in attendance today. We were sitting in some special section in the very back row. The only bad part is that it was also a walkway for people running around behind the scenes so it was a lot of wiggling to let people through. A man who came to visit the house yesterday apparently thought this was not appropriate for me and put 2 chairs pretty much in the middle of the aisle in-between the special section and the choir/band section and told me I should sit there. Slightly mortifying since we were already elevated above the rest of the church and now I was pretty much sitting by myself. I was later joined by the children's pastor but for a while it was just me!
So the first 40 minutes were some solid rocking out singing. I'm telling you, this church GETS DOWN. The only bad part is that I had no idea what they were singing and it was pretty hard to hear what the leader pastors were saying in the microphone so I was pretty lost. It wouldn't have been too bad except I was now sitting in an exposed area. I'm sure I'll catch on though. After the rocking out part then there were some short messages and speeches from other pastors. Then there was some more singing but the choir and band did most of that. Then it was time for the "main preacher" to speak. Which this week happened to be F! So F talked about the purpose of prayer...and at one point he was talking about it being a conversation with a friend, and that friend is Jesus (or God) and since you wouldn't shout nonsense at a friend you shouldn't shout nonsense to God. After that I think everyone was unsure with how to pray and worship. This was the only time that there was a similarity to the Catholic Church! It was pretty quiet while everyone was trying to absorb F's message and decide how to act on it. He later reassured them that he didn't mean they couldn't rejoice openly but to remember the conversation aspect of prayer. Pretty funny.
I was feeling pretty jet lagged the whole time and it was pretty warm so I was struggling to stay awake at a few points. When my seat mate joined me he helped make sure I stayed awake! At one point he elbowed me pretty hard which was funny. The other thing is that the only bible I have is a Catholic study bible and I didn't realize it but it's labeled "Catholic Study Bible" on all sides of it. At one point he looks over and says "Why do you have a Catholic bible?" and I explained that I was Catholic (a half-truth). He said "Oh, I see." I told him I didn't mind going to different churches and that basically the text was the same, just paraphrased a little different. L told me after we got home that he came down to talk to her at one point and said "We need to get her a real bible." Ahahahahahaha. L said "It IS a real bible, just a different version!" So I think my plan is working: if I confuse them about my beliefs they won't ask me too much about religion and my religious views!
After church we went back to the main house to prepare lunch. Apparently afternoon lunch on Sunday is the biggest meal of the week. All of F's family members congregate to enjoy time together. Various other people also come over and everyone eats and chats and spends time together. We had a nice lunch and got to do a lot of talking. Right now it's after lunch and since people are working on my room I can't really take a nap so I thought I'd squeeze in a quick blog (which actually turned out to be longer than I thought!). We are getting ready to go to a baby-naming ceremony so I'm sure I'll have more to write about later!
Now I have to interject to say that the majority of church I've attended in my life has been Catholic Church. I was raised Catholic (until my family stopped attending in my early teens) and I actually have a high proportion of friends who are Catholic (total coincidence). I have attended other churches, but not many, and never an Evangelical Pentecostal church. If you've ever been to a Catholic Church service then you've basically been to them all. Catholic Church, for those who don't know, basically have the same format everywhere in the world. Even the few services I have attended in Nigeria have been basically the same. There is a little variation here or there but basically you do the same thing and it takes an hour. You sit and listen, sing a few solemn hymns and take communion. So when L said 2.5 to 4 hours I was a little shocked.
I headed back over to my room in the compound next door; one of the staff (A, one of the house women/nanny to baby F) accompanied me since it was late and dark. However, apparently the lightbulbs in the common area of the guest house were missing or not working so it was really dark over there. I didn't care because I was just ready to collapse into bed. I told A that the light in my bathroom was also burned out thinking that it would be helpful for her to know since they would be arranging for the common area bulbs to be replaced. She was very concerned about it even though I assured her it was fine. About 10 minutes later A, T (another house woman/baby F's nanny), and O (one of the M's adopted children) came to fetch me. I said I was ok with it, but if it were an issue of "comfort" on the M's part then I would come back over. They insisted that L was not comfortable with me being over there with not much light. So back over to their house I went, which was fine.
When my alarm went off I couldn't believe it. I slept like a rock, but felt like a bulldozer had rolled over me. Jet lag caught up with me! I knew once I got up I'd be ok. So I pulled myself out of bed and headed back over to my room to shower. Yesterday when I took a shower I had assumed that they'd just turned the water heater on, but this morning I realized it had been on all night and it still wasn't hot. Luckily the ground water stays close to the surface so it wasn't freezing, and the cool water helped to wake me up. L had said that native outfits were appropriate for church so I got the chance to wear one of my outfits that I had made earlier this year but haven't yet had the chance to wear. I grabbed some toast and drank a whole bottle of water (I was feeling dehydrated from my day of travel) and we were off to church!
It was kind of cool getting to ride with L because again, since she & F are the heads of the church she of course gets special treatment. We had a front row parking space and got special seats in the church.
Speaking of the church, it is BIG. I think L said that it seats 5,000, but as of lately attendance had been down. If I had to estimate (and I'm pretty horrible at estimating) there were probably 1,500 people in attendance today. We were sitting in some special section in the very back row. The only bad part is that it was also a walkway for people running around behind the scenes so it was a lot of wiggling to let people through. A man who came to visit the house yesterday apparently thought this was not appropriate for me and put 2 chairs pretty much in the middle of the aisle in-between the special section and the choir/band section and told me I should sit there. Slightly mortifying since we were already elevated above the rest of the church and now I was pretty much sitting by myself. I was later joined by the children's pastor but for a while it was just me!
So the first 40 minutes were some solid rocking out singing. I'm telling you, this church GETS DOWN. The only bad part is that I had no idea what they were singing and it was pretty hard to hear what the leader pastors were saying in the microphone so I was pretty lost. It wouldn't have been too bad except I was now sitting in an exposed area. I'm sure I'll catch on though. After the rocking out part then there were some short messages and speeches from other pastors. Then there was some more singing but the choir and band did most of that. Then it was time for the "main preacher" to speak. Which this week happened to be F! So F talked about the purpose of prayer...and at one point he was talking about it being a conversation with a friend, and that friend is Jesus (or God) and since you wouldn't shout nonsense at a friend you shouldn't shout nonsense to God. After that I think everyone was unsure with how to pray and worship. This was the only time that there was a similarity to the Catholic Church! It was pretty quiet while everyone was trying to absorb F's message and decide how to act on it. He later reassured them that he didn't mean they couldn't rejoice openly but to remember the conversation aspect of prayer. Pretty funny.
I was feeling pretty jet lagged the whole time and it was pretty warm so I was struggling to stay awake at a few points. When my seat mate joined me he helped make sure I stayed awake! At one point he elbowed me pretty hard which was funny. The other thing is that the only bible I have is a Catholic study bible and I didn't realize it but it's labeled "Catholic Study Bible" on all sides of it. At one point he looks over and says "Why do you have a Catholic bible?" and I explained that I was Catholic (a half-truth). He said "Oh, I see." I told him I didn't mind going to different churches and that basically the text was the same, just paraphrased a little different. L told me after we got home that he came down to talk to her at one point and said "We need to get her a real bible." Ahahahahahaha. L said "It IS a real bible, just a different version!" So I think my plan is working: if I confuse them about my beliefs they won't ask me too much about religion and my religious views!
After church we went back to the main house to prepare lunch. Apparently afternoon lunch on Sunday is the biggest meal of the week. All of F's family members congregate to enjoy time together. Various other people also come over and everyone eats and chats and spends time together. We had a nice lunch and got to do a lot of talking. Right now it's after lunch and since people are working on my room I can't really take a nap so I thought I'd squeeze in a quick blog (which actually turned out to be longer than I thought!). We are getting ready to go to a baby-naming ceremony so I'm sure I'll have more to write about later!
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