A Short Rant About Lateness

I hate when people are late. More specifically, I hate when people are late and other people are waiting on them. It irritates me to no end.

I have had some friends at different points in my life that were chronically late. I'm talking 10 minutes (or sometimes more) nearly every time we would meet. And of course, not wanting to rude and inconsiderate of their time I couldn't bring myself to factor in an extra 10 minutes knowing they would be late because what if they weren't and they were waiting on me??? And every time they would be late there would be some lame excuse and "omg, it totally wasn't my fault." Right, it never is.

Here's the bottom line when people are late: when you are late (particularly chronically) you are basically saying to the person/people waiting on you that your time is more important than their time and obviously you had nothing better to do than wait on them.

Whether it's 10 minutes or a freaking half an hour (seriously, I've had some people who are consistently 30 MINUTES LATE) I think, you know...I could have used that extra time to sleep in, work on homework, finish doing something, or hell, just lay on the couch and relax! But instead I'm sitting here waiting on YOU. Luckily I'm pretty prepared and usually have a book in my purse or something creative I can come up with to do, but the point is, I shouldn't have to! Whatever you are doing is NOT more important than what I was doing when I budgeted my time wisely so I could meet you at the appointed time!

So people, please remember this when you are planning on meeting up with someone in the future. Not everyone likes to wait on you.

People Are Ridiculous: Part 783649831

I know times are tough. The economy is crappy, people are watching their money closer than ever, and we're all looking to get a good deal. But let's be reasonable.

I was recently reading an article about GM going out of business and people hoping to get a deal on a car. Now it's one thing to get a deal, but it's another to think you're going to get a brand new car for half price.

I remember talking to my real estate lady a while back. This was before times were this tough, but it was still considered a "buyer's market." She said that some people think this means you can demand a really (dumb) low price and expect to get top notch stuff.

I have been seeing examples of this all week. I have a few items up for sale on Craigslist. I've sold plenty of things on the site in the past and I've seen my fair share of ridiculous emails. But it seems like it is an overwhelming majority of people are acting stupid these days. I've had 6 things listed and so far only sold one. This is a rarity for me. I am reasonable person. I don't like piece of shit stuff for exorbitant prices. So why do all the crazies out there have to find my stuff and send me irritating emails?

A few case examples:

• I have a grill for sale. Nice model, needs a new starter. Tank and cover included. Price $50. I get an email that says "My best offer is $15. Please respond." Uh, seriously? Less than a third of the price? You don't even get a response to that under normal conditions. And your short and snappy attitude? And no name? Eff off idiot.
• I had a guy email me about a solid wood armoire I am selling for $100. After answering his question about whether or not it was solid wood and not particle board (which I said in the ad mind you) he emails me and says "I'll take it, but I'm not paying more than $50 for it. I can pick it up Saturday. Let me know if that is ok." NO, it isn't. At least his prior email was semi-polite so I sent him an email that said "No, $50 is not acceptable. Thanks anyway."
  

So I ask, what the hell??? I am not some desperate crack-whore who needs the funds. I'm just trying to get rid of some extra shit I don't need.

Anyway, if you are in need of a gas grill, a lawn mower, an old tv, a real wood armoire, or a dog cage let me know!

An(i) Epiphany

So last Wednesday my love and I went to the Ani DiFranco concert. Of course, she totally rocked the house...not that we expected any different. Given that it was an Ani concert, of course at least half the crowd was lesbian (and of course since half the crowd was lesbian, my girlfriend knew half of the half, and dated half of that half...). And given that I think waaaaaay to much, and am prone to introspection when there are an overwhelming amount of "things" going on at once, I had an epiphany in the middle of the concert. This is not rare, as A. epiphany is one of my favorite words and B. I really like to think about the world in themetic ways. (Sidenote, this is what makes me a good researcher)

So you know the joke about lesbians that goes something like "Know what lesbians bring on the second date?" and the answer is "A U-Haul!" For those of you NOT in the know...lesbians are well-known for moving at lightening speed in their relationships. Typical lesbian relationships happen like this: girl meets girl, they fall in love, they move in together, they acquire animals together, and they're rarely seen in public again because they are too busy being domestic with their animals and rarely leave their couch. Details differ, but basically that's the format.

One of the rare times that they do leave their couch and come out is for the random, once a year "Girls Night Out" type event. Usually someone's birthday, or sadly, to celebrate a couple's break up (we're so melodramatic). Another popular time for an outing is when any quasi-queer music event is going on. Think Melissa Etheridge, Indigo Girls, Lillith Fair, Tori Amos or Ani DiFranco. There are others, but these are the main ones. So we fully expected it to be super lesbian night at the Murat for Ani. We were not disappointed.

As we were sitting in our 8th row seats (yay me for stalking LiveNation for tickets!) we did a lot of looking around and observing. The two girls sitting in front of us where something else. They were both wearing cut off sweatpant shorts (totally not shitting you), hiking sandals complete with socks (still not shitting you), ratty looking t-shirts and bandanas on their shaved heads. I swear to you, they looked like they had been working in the yard all day, all of sudden remember that they had Ani tickets and RAN out the door so they wouldn't miss her. One half of the Hideous Twins spent the ENTIRE concert rocking back and forth like a pendulum. I swear I could have set my watch to her. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Most people were kind of alternating between swaying to the music, doing random bursts of dancing and some chilling. Not this chick. BACK AND FORTH THE ENTIRE CONCERT. At some point in the middle she added a little hip hook so she looked more like the agitator of a washing machine, but that only lasted a few songs. Then back to the pendulum. She was getting on my last nerves. First it was distracting because it was like I see Ani, Now I don't, I see Ani, Now I don't, I see Ani, Now I don't, I see Ani, Now I don't...and so on. I knew I could not watch the entire concert like that so I had to shift into an uncomfortable position so I could just see Ani all the time. Of course she was still in my field of vision and I fought the urge to just grab her shoulders and hold her still the entire concert.

Two rows up and to the left were two girls who could not stay in one place and watch the concert for the life of them. And they also seemed intent on causing chaos every time they moved as well. One of them had a blue tooth headset on that blinked an irritating blue light the entire concert. Again, catching my eye and making me crazy. Her partner spent the night using her cell phone in various annoying ways. Alternating between using it to take pictures and videos of Ani performing, sending text messages and yes, even making calls. During the concert. Six rows from the front. Besides the fact that one typically goes to a concert to WATCH AND LISTEN to the artist, how in the hell can you talk on a phone when it's that loud? They also left and came back into the room like 85 times in 2 hours, spilled a cup of beer alllll over the aisle, and kept getting scolded by the security guard for standing in the aisle.

The point of telling you these two stories is to say, the reasons that lesbians find the one person that makes them happy and then never leave the house is because we all get on each others nerves and we're completely judgmental bitches that would end up clawing each others' eyes out if we spent more than a few nights a year out together.

A note about sunburns...

So as I mentioned in my Mutt Strutt blog, I got burned like hellllllllllll. Like a flaming lobster. Exhibit A:
This is me in Chicago with a baby burn. It started to fade...and then...Mutt Strutt:

Yikes I know. It hurts just as bad as it looks. But please, please, please....refrain from saying the following comments:

"OMG, what happened???"

Oh this? Um, I decided to airbrush myself to look like I was permanently wearing a white tank top.

"Geez! Have you ever heard of SUNSCREEN???"

What? What is that? Some revolutionary new product??? Must make mental note...study chemical properties...find out if it works.

These are the two things I heard ALL DAY on Monday. CLEARLY I got burned because I FORGOT to use sunscreen. Not the best move I KNOW. I just wanted to choke someone by the end of the day. Now I know how my sister felt during pre-election. Everyone thought they were so witty when they would call her "Hilary (Hillary) Clinton." She was always like "LIKE I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE..."

On the other hand...if you are an attention whore I would highly suggest this tactic. It hurts, but damn you get some serious attention.