Weekend at Hilly's

Ange posted a quick little diddy over on her page, but here's my version:

A few months ago I was surfing the net and saw that Girlyman (Ange's favorite band ever) was playing in Ann Arbor, MI over Valentine's Day weekend. I did a little research and realized that Ann Arbor was a mere hour away from East Lansing where my sister lives (and is attending MSU Vet School). Hmm...I had a great idea! So I told Ange to request Valentine's Day weekend off and we were going to go visit my sister.

We got back from Africa and I asked her if she had requested the weekend off. She said I never made it clear that she should so then we had to do a last minute scramble to switch with someone. After she confirmed the switch I ordered the tickets for the show (still supposed to be a surprise). About 2 weeks before the trip Ange came up with a GREAT IDEA. She noticed that Girlyman was playing in Ann Arbor and she researched it and realized it was only an hour away from Hilary! Kill me. There goes my surprise. This was like the third surprise she'd ruined in a month so of course I was bummed...but we were still going to visit Hil & see Girlyman anyway!

Hilary, being the crazy-crazbo she is, decided that she wanted to get a Great Dane and happened to get one the week before we came. Long story short, the day before we came her dog and her roommate's dog decided to get in a fight over rawhide, both dogs were injured as well as her roommate, they left to get medical help for the more hurt dog (her roommate's) and her roommate. They stashed Diesel (Hilly's new dog) in the extra bedroom and when they got back home they found the 145 lb. 6 foot tall dog walking around on the roof. Lovely. Apparently he decided to rip down the blinds, open the window, tear out the screen and walk around on the roof (they have a tri-level so it has multiple roofs). How excited were we??? Ok, not so much.

Window damage

Giant dog

Anyway, we ended up having a very splendid time with the giant dog. We had an awesome time at the Girlyman concert (where YES, Ty did remember Ange BY NAME), laid around a ton by the fireplace (yay!), and realized that my sister and her roommate live like cave-people. Ange goes into more detail but basically, Hilary does not have a knife in the entirety of her house. Ange had to make us breakfast with a butter knife and a pizza cutter. Luckily we did some Goodwilling that weekend and were able to find a knife (still in packaging!) for $0.79. Yay, Hilary now has one knife! Believe me, she's got a lot further to go to become a more established adult ;)

All in all, a good weekend with my love and my baby sister!

Kids say the darndest things...

And by "kids" I mean college students. Ever since I started teaching I've had heard some of the lamest/funniest excuses in my life. I've also just read/heard the funniest statements ever. Here are some of the highlights (so far...I'm sure I'll have a ton more):

1. I got an email from a girl who said she had to rush her roommate to the hospital because she either had H1N1 or internal bleeding. To the best of my knowledge this student is neither a medical person nor does she have a MRI installed in her dorm room so how she thought internal bleeding is beyond me.

2. I had a student tell me that it was my fault that he didn't turn in his weekly journal because I usually remind them at the end of class on Thursday and I didn't the week before. Apparently the due date on the syllabus and on Oncourse did not cue him to action regarding the journal. Nor did the fact that they have to turn in a journal EVERY Tuesday and this was the FOURTH week of class. Clearly, still my fault.

3. I had a student who was angry about a paper grade I gave her last semester. When did she let me know? Not immediately after it posted. Not a week after it posted. Not when I emailed to say I was turning in final grades 48 hours later. She waits til 3 days after I turned in final grades. She did not like my explanation and demanded I meet her in person to discuss the grade. When I told her it would be impossible to meet in person as I was LEAVING FOR AFRICA in 5 days and I didn't have time to drive back to Bloomington to give her the same explanation I had given her via email (because apparently in person she would be soooo much more convincing that her paper wasn't crap and deserved better than a C), she told me that she was going to "report me to my superiors" because obviously I wasn't going to "give her the time of day." When I replied and cc'ed my "superior" and again explained that I had provided a detailed response for why she received a C on her paper and that I was going to Africa and I couldn't not meet with her face to face, but that if she continued to be unhappy she could speak to my superior who was conveniently copied on the email. My superior responded that the girl did not need to be rude to me and if she would like to have an explanation for her paper in person she would have to wait til I came back. A grade grievance wouldn't matter if it were then or a month later. We didn't hear from her again. Guess her idle threat plan did not pay off in the way she hoped.

4. "I would give this class 3.5 out of 4 stars because it was definitely more interesting than I thought it would be. Way to exceed my expectations!" Wow...didn't know that I was teaching Siskel or Ebert. But glad I could meet your needs and exceed your expectations. That was my goal.

5. "I think that for future classes I would suggest that a midterm test is given 4 weeks into the class. I know that sounds crazy coming from a student, but a midterm test has many advantages for students. First of all, it gives us an opportunity to get more points, which I feel like I did not have enough of those opportunities this semester, especially after missing two quizzes." Two words: point whore. Oh and a few more words: why is it my fault you missed two quizzes? Idiot.

These are some of my favs...I was going to add the 3some issue although I think that I adequately covered that in the last post.

Um, wanna have a 3some?

Just kidding. I'm not really offering...BUT the past week of my life has been consumed by this question.

I feel like I have a good grip on this teaching thing and think I am doing well by my students and well, frankly, I did run into some ridiculousness that I didn't quite expect.

One of the common assignments we assign in our human sexuality class is loosely called "Push Your Boundaries/Explore Sex." Basically students are supposed to come up with an idea to explore some aspect of sexuality that pushes their personal boundaries of comfort. Since everyone is different this means lots of different things. For some people, looking at Playboy is pushing their boundaries. For some people it is something a little racier.

Before they can write their paper they have to turn in their topic selection to me so I can make sure they are on the right track (undergrads often get off track easily). So apparently 2 days before the topic selection was due one of my students decided it was a great idea to send an email out to the class (via our internal messaging system for the class) that said:

hello ladies of [our class],

i was wondering if any 2 or more ladies would like to participate in a 3some for our project. im too young to goto strip club and ive done everything else sexually that i am willing to do besides this. i thought it would be fun :). so if any ladies are intrested just shoot me an email or a text before class tomorrow. my number is [Phone Number]. AGAIN, NO GUYS. SORRY.

sincerly,
[Male in Class]

ps. feel free to look me up onm facebook. my screenname is [Male in Class].

Now, I did not receive this message first hand. I received word of it because another student in the class forwarded it to me with this note:

Mrs. Briggs,

I am completely insulted and disgusted by this students inappropriate message. I wanted you to be aware of what this individual has sent out, and I am asking you to please talk to him. Not only is this an insult to women, but I feel its also an insult to the class itself. Considering he is asking us to expand his sex history in the name of "education". This class is supposed to expand our minds on sex, not to expand our list of people we have had intercourse with. I apologize, Im ranting. But Im a little upset at this individuals complete immaturity and lack of sensitivity in such a class. Please, talk to him.

Thank you,
[Female in Class]

Okkkkk. What to do? On the one hand, I definitely know why she was upset. I can understand her email and why she wanted action taken. On the other hand, I think that his email was as respectful as possible for propositioning your entire class for a threesome. And his project is NOT wrong; it completely falls within the guidelines of the course.

So I decided to email my fellow PhD students to get their opinions. We have a very diverse group of students so I knew it would be a range of opinions. I got some suggestions to email our supervisor & I did. She replied that it was highly inappropriate and I needed to address it, but she also said "You may want to consider that engaging in sexual activity is not an accepted activity for this project. There are too many issues that can result that you don't want to be responsible for. I know it's a new generation, but there has to be some boundaries set so students feel safe."

Now this is where I have a major disagreement. I think that this is a class that:

A. Explores all aspects of human sexuality; not just those that are more comfortable to discuss.
B. I feel like I have created a safe classroom which is why this student felt it was ok to do this and why one student felt it was ok to let me know it was NOT ok with her.
C. I think it is hypocritical to say "sexual activity" includes only explicit sexual acts between two (or more) actual individuals. I think going to a strip club or watching pornography are also "engaging in sexual activity" and that this is the wrong message to send.
D. Even more hypocritical is that one of the ideas on the list (they get a brainstormed list to help stimulate their thinking) is to get a STD test. SO we can tell them to get tested, but we better not discuss what might have actually gotten them a STD in the first place? Bollocks.

But besides my philosophical reservations I knew I had to take some kind of action (and actually was instructed by my supervisor that I had to as well) so I decided that I would email the student to explain the scenario and let him see what the student he offended said (though not her name) and to let him know what my supervisor said. But I also let him know that I was NOT mad at him and that he wasn't being punished and that he could continue on with his topic, but that he'd need to find another way to solicit partners. I told him it had to be addressed so he decided to send a follow up email to the class:

DEAR MEMBERS OF [class],

IT WAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION BY THE INSTRUCTOR THAT MY PREVIOUS MESSAGE WAS INNAPROPRIATE FOR CLASS AND DISRESPECTFUL TO THOSE WHO FOUND IT OFFENSIVE. I APPOLOGIZE TO THOSE THAT THE MESSAGE EFFECTED NEGATIVELY. I ASSURE ALL OF YOU THAT I MEANT NO HARM OR DISRESPECT TO ANYONE. AND MY PURPOSE WAS NOT TO FORFIL ANY SEXUAL DESIRES. I ONLY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA AND OTHERS WOULD BE BE TOO SHY OR TIMID TO BRING IT UP. AGAIN I AM SORRY TO ANYONE I OFFENDED I DIDNT MEAN TO HARM ANYONE IN ANYWAY AND IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN.

Whew. I hoped that the crisis was avoided. And turns out, I haven't (yet) heard anything else directly about it. I was a little apprehensive for the next class meeting, but it didn't come up as a class issue, although prior to the start of class I overheard a group of students discussing it and one student added him as a friend on Facebook, another students sent it to all her friends because she thought it was so funny, and another student printed out the message and used it as a conversation starter all day.

All in all, I'm glad it happened even though it was a little sticky for a few days. I think it was a good learning experience for many people (student, me, other PhD students, possibly my class) and it started an interesting conversation around our office.

Teaching & Learning

Second year PhD students in my department are require to teach 3 classes during the year. Either two classes in the fall & one in the spring OR one class in the fall & two in the spring. I was supposed to teach Human Sexuality last fall; our coordinator had already told me I was teaching it and that of course made me happy. I went away to Africa for 3 weeks only to come back and see that it had been RIPPED away from me and given to someone else. To add insult to injury, I had an email that said I was assigned 2 sections of Personal Health. I threw a tiny hissy fit and bought myself some more time. I made it through dumb Personal Health & now I am teaching two sections of Human Sexuality this semester.

I'm actually having a good time teaching this semester. It's a class I enjoy and I feel like I've improved from last year. I've also lined up some new and different guest speakers & tried some new activities. One of the things I decided to do this year was to have a panel of transgendered individuals come and talk about their experiences.

I have to say it was one of the best things I've done! I conceptually understand transgenderism and I'm totally supportive of transgender individuals but I have to say, I've never really "gotten" it. I can't really explain what I didn't "get" but I just feel like I really couldn't wrap my mind around the whole thing. I can't sum up the whole hour plus panel discussion but hearing the individuals speak was very inspiring and informative.

Here are two of my favorite quotes from the evening(s):

In response to "how did you know you were transgender?"

• "You know when you go to the grocery store and get a cart that has one wheel that is wonky? You push your cart around and you know something isn't right, but you just keep trying to make it go? That's what being transgender is like."

In response to a discussion about sex reassignment surgery and dating:

• "Even if your body feels wrong (having a penis) touching it still feels good!"

So I think it was really informative and exciting for my students but it was also a fascinating learning experience for me. I'll definitely keep this in mind for the future.

In my continuing transformation to African...

Dear Cold Dreary Winter,

I hate your guts. Please leave my life forever. I never want to see you again. I'm tired of always being the one who's freezing to death; I don't think I've felt my feet in 3 months. I won't miss you. You are like a bad case of herpes that always comes back no matter how much you wish it would just be over forever.

KThxBai,

Lindsay

Senegal & Gambia Winter 2009-2010

I was invited again to be assistant trip leader on the Sene-Gambia Winter 2009-2010 by Dr. Emil Nagengast, but as part of my acceptance I negotiated that Ange could come with me on her very first trip to Africa! He agreed and we were off!

Now last year I when I went I did some more extensive blogging, but since this is my second trip I don't have as much to say. I'll go through the highlights and if you want more detailed info, and if my darling partner Ange does any personal blogging I'll link to her site.

We got up early on December 30th and set off on our trip. Ange was over the moon with excitement and anticipation! After a quick layover in Detroit we landed in New York and met up with the rest of the Juniata crew. We set out that evening for Madrid where we would have a 12 hour layover. Ange was not able to sleep on the 8+ hour flight and was pretty tired when we got to Madrid. We metroed to downtown, but unfortunately it was raining and a little chilly (50's maybe?) and since Ange was exhausted from not sleeping we pondered what to do. We hit a little cafe to plan our attack and have a nice warm coffee and croissant. We decided that we wanted to see Madrid but were tired and didn't want to be wet so we decided to expend a little of our funds and hop on one of the sightseeing buses. It was a little crowded because apparently others had the same idea but eventually we got some seats by the fogged up windows. After riding around for an hour and listening to the city tour we decided we'd hop off, grab lunch and head back to the airport so Ange could lay down and hopefully sleep. Even through her delirium she spied a sign that said "Vegetarian" and we walked over to check it out. Turned out it was a yummy little vegetarian falafel place! With full bellies we headed back to the airport where Ange was able to crash out a bit on the floor and catch a little nap. The funniest part was how many people stared at her sleeping on the floor. This happened again on the way back so I think that Spaniards just aren't used to seeing people crashed out sleeping in airports. Apparently Americans are slovenly and the Europeans are much better able to remain composed. Whatevs.

We finally boarded our flight and arrived in Dakar a short 5 hours later! Arriving in Dakar always seems to be chaotic and this time was no exception. I told everyone not to let "porters" take their bags because they were just people who were hanging out looking for tips but as I suspected might happen they were not forceful enough in their "No thank yous" and I looked back and every single one of them had someone pushing their luggage cart. Sigh. When we got to the bus an airport security dude came out and scared them all away so they didn't get their tips anyway. We loaded up the bus, headed to The Fana Hotel and checked in. We got a nice fireworks show on the roof of the hotel and then headed to bed.

The next morning we loaded up early and hit the road for The Gambia. Luckily since it was early and New Year's Day there was no traffic leaving Dakar (a rarity) and we zipped along for a few hours. Then the usual: a blown our tire. We spent about 45 minutes on the side of a road near a little village. Within 10 minutes nearly the entire village was standing there staring at us. I mean, how often do you think a bus full of foreigners break down near this village? The kids of course loved it and thought it was the best thing ever. We finally got back on the road, stopped in disgusting Kaolack (dirtiest city ever) for lunch, and finally got to The Gambia that evening. We got the students settled at Mohamed's house (Nigerian guy who lives in The Gambia and has basically turned his house into a guest house that Juniata uses for students) and headed to Emil's apartment. Emil is spending the entire spring semester on sabbatical in The Gambia and his wife and son are coming over for the semester as well so he had to find a nice place for them. Wow, was it nice! We got there and no joke, one of the nicest places I've ever stayed in Africa. It was a very gorgeous and modern 2 bedroom apartment. We were so lucky! Although I have to say, this set a standard for the trip that really made it "Africa-Lite" for Ange. But since I plan to drag her all over the world we'll have plenty of time to rough it later and she'll be able to place it in perspective later.

The next day we did a city tour of Banjul, including their insane market, had lunch and then spent some free time in the afternoon at the beach.

On the 3rd we went to the Bijilo Monkey Forest in the morning. Very cool with lots of monkeys running around. One of the students was ill when we left the US and couldn't seem to shake it. But, unlike some students, she didn't want to miss out so she kept pushing herself to join in the activities. About 20 minutes into the monkey walk she started feeling really bad so we broke off from the group and ended up walking back to the van. She rested and eventually the other students caught up with us. We then headed to the crocodile pond (Katchikally), the Bakau Market (my favorite shopping & craft market), and then had some more free time. Ange and I broke off from the group and headed off to sneak in to the fancy resort hotels and spent some time pretending we're fancy schmancy. Headed back to clean up at the apartment and have dinner with the students.

On Monday we went to the Embassy in the morning and then to GAMCOTRAP. We then had lunch and the afternoon off. Ange had a touch of "Banjul Belly" so we decided to take the afternoon off and she napped while I set up the internet in the apartment and surfed the web. This is when I found out my cousin had died and we decided to spend the rest of the night in because I just didn't feel like socializing that evening.

The next day we went to the Gambian Press Union to talk about press freedom and visited The Point newspaper. We had lunch and then had some free time. Ange still wasn't feeling that great so we did some wandering around and then just took it easy back at the apartment.

The next day (6th) we went back to the Gambia is Good Farm, which is my favorite place in The Gambia. It took us about a thousand years to get there because the President of Senegal was in town and President Jammeh was taking him back to the airport (which is just past GIG Farm) and we got stopped by the insane motorcade forever. Finally got there, had the tour, and ate delicious lunch. I had a few hours to rest and then my big lecture sponsored by the US embassy. The lecture went very well, had a number of people attending and several press representatives.

On Thursday we headed up-country to Tendaba Nature Camp. On the way we got to stop at this really awesome hospital (my second favorite thing to do in Africa) that was all solar powered. I was in heaven looking at their awesome technology. We got to Tendaba, took a nap and had a lovely dinner. During the middle of dinner my lecture was featured on the Gambian national news (they only have one television station) for several minutes. It was pretty cool. All the students were like "LINDSAY! You're on tv!!!" and the other tourists there were all looking at me and were like "Seriously, that's you?" probably wondering how the hell I was on tv and also in this random nature camp the next day. Funny stuff.

The next day we went on a walking tour of Tendaba, Ange had a bowel attack in the middle of the walk and had to have a moment out in the bushes, we took a nap that afternoon, watched the locals challenge the JC students to a soccer match (ended in a 3-3 tie--not too shabby!), had dinner and went to bed.

On Saturday we got up at a leisurely time while many of the students went on a nature walk or fishing. We headed out and stopped at our driver Yabo's family home and then at a school that a Gambian ex-pat living in the UK was fixing up with money and volunteers from his foundation. We drove back to Banjul after a quick stop at Kanilai (where I was recognized by a hotel staffer--"Hey! Were you on tv the other night???"). We had some free time at the beach when we got back, grabbed dinner and headed back to the luxury apartment.

Sunday was our last day in Banjul before we headed back to Senegal for a few days before we left. Ange and I decided to camp out at the beach. We woke up around 9, got ready, headed to the beach, had tapalapas for breakfast, laid on the beach for hours, played in the surf a few times, had some fresh squeezed juice, ate lunch and eventually headed back to the apartment to start packing stuff up. Took a break for dinner and then finished packing and went to bed.

The next day we packed everything up and headed to Senegal. 12 hours later and a few stops we finally arrived at Pink Lake. Students hung out and smoked hookah and we went to bed early.

On Tuesday we got up and went on the WW2 jeeps for a tour of Pink Lake, a visit to a Fulani village, rough and tumble over the sand dunes, a stop at the beach, then back to the resort for lunch. We then spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool and watched the students ride camels. Had dinner at the resort and headed back to Dakar for the night.

Got up fairly early, took a driving tour of Dakar, stopped at the lighthouse and saw the nearly finished Statue to the African Renaissance, headed to the ferry and waited for a little over an hour in a very crowded waiting area, took the ferry to Gorree Island, bombarded by the aggressive sellers on Goree, found the tapestry we were looking for, had lunch, nearly got in a fight with some bitchy market lady, got back to Dakar, relaxed and showered at the hotel and headed to the airport!

Flew at night and landed in Madrid at 5 am. Decided to not go in to Madrid and sleep in the airport instead. More staring. Felt much more rested. Got on the never-ending flight home, arrived NYC in the evening, headed to our hotel, slept well.

Friday the 15th we wandered around NYC doing nothing much. Almost missed our flight because we got slightly lost and traffic, made it home.

So I know that was the express version, but even that took me over an hour to write. If you want a pictorial of the trip we loaded all of our pics of the trip on Shutterfly.com and Shutterfly lets you build a little webshare site for all your pics. We have them all uploaded and are working on captioning all of the photos. Wait a few more days if you want to read all the captions, or if you are impatient you can check them out now: http://angeandlindsaystriptoafrica.shutterfly.com/

On Death

The end of 2009 brought three deaths into my world and each of them affected me in unique ways.

First was the death of the father of one of my elementary through high school best friends. Christy and I became good friends when we were in 5th grade and continued until I went away to college. Although we are not as close now, we are still in touch and when her dad was diagnosed with cancer I was saddened to hear the news. I am friends with Christy, her mom, and her half sister on Facebook so I was able to keep up with news about Len through the past year and a half. Things took a very bad turn for the worse this fall and it seemed imminent that his death was near. He died a few weeks before Thanksgiving and Ange and Heather and I went to the calling to support Christy and her family. After chatting with her for a bit we walked around to look at the picture memorials they had put together around the mortuary. At the first picture I was suddenly struck by an overwhelming sense of sadness. Of course it was sad that a friend's father had died but at that moment I was reminded of how close in age her father and my father are. When you are a kid much of your "hanging out" with friends revolves around being at home with someone's parents and depending on them to get you where you need to go since you can't drive. I have lots of memories of Christy's dad and find a lot of similarities between them. His death made me realized that I've entered the point in my life where I have to start worrying about the health of my parents and other older family members and that is not something I am prepared to deal with. Her dad's death affected me much more than I expected and I very nearly lost it when I looked at that first mural of pictures. Luckily I was able to pull it together and not be a total wreck mess, but it was something that stuck with me for quite some time.

In early December my "grandfather" died. I use quotes because although technically/biologically he was my mother's father which makes him my grandfather, I did not have a grandfatherly relationship with him. I'd probably only seen him a handful of times in the last 20+ years and the last time I saw him (several years ago) he called me by my cousin's name the entire time. When I got the news he died the only feeling I had was one of apathy, which I thought was interesting. I literally didn't feel anything. Not happy, not sad, not mad, not anything. How do you grieve for someone you have no relationship with or no attachment to? I felt like I should feel something, but honestly, I didn't. It was like reading a news story of a stranger's death. And to make it even stranger, the night that he died I had a very creepy dream about him that woke me up with a start. I looked at the clock (4 am) and thought to myself "If he died tonight I am going to be so freaked out" and went back to bed. The next morning when my mom called I nearly passed out when she said he had died in the middle of the night. I am NOT into supernatural/other worldly things, so I still don't know what to think of it, but I've tried not to dwell on it because it gives me the hee-bee-jee-bees.

Finally, whilst I was gone to Africa for two weeks my 17-year old cousin died in his sleep. This was the most disturbing to me of all of the deaths. First of all, the entire situation was terrible. Dominic was a completely healthy teenage boy and his death came as a very unexpected shock. He died peacefully in his sleep and 3 weeks later they still don't have any idea why he died. Of all of the people who died, I felt closest to his death, because although we were not close, I have spent some time with him, and more importantly my aunt. We were Facebook friends and I was more peripherally involved in his life than the other two. On top of the death itself, the manner in which I found out created a very strange situation I've never had to deal with.

We have a generally unspoken rule that when I am traveling outside of the country and fairly inaccessible, all bad news should be held until my return. We figure, why make me worry when there is nothing I can do about it? I had called my mom to let her know we arrived safe and sound and apparently about a half an hour later is when she received the call about my cousin. She debated calling me back but didn't want this news to worry me while I was in Africa. Now, here comes the strange part. Normally when I am in Africa I don't have much (if any) access to technology. However, Dr. Nagengast (the man who I was assisting on the Africa trip) is on sabbatical this semester and is spending the semester teaching at The University of The Gambia and therefore needed to find a place to live for 6 months. Also his wife and son are coming to live with him for the semester so it needed to be a fairly decent place. The apartment turned out to be very nice and included wireless internet. He had brought his laptop along and asked me to set up his network since he is not very technologically savvy. I said no problem but we were pretty busy for the first few days and didn't think much about it.

Finally we had an afternoon off and Ange fell asleep on the couch so I decided to set up the computer and once I had it all up and running I was cruising around the net and checking email and Facebook. When I opened up Facebook and was browsing my updates I saw one from my aunt that said she was proud of her daughter for going back to school knowing that so many would be grieving her brother. I literally could not comprehend what the hell she was talking about and it never crossed my mind that my cousin would actually be dead. I clicked on my aunt's page and started scrolling down through all of the sympathy posts and comments from everyone until I got to the status update from my aunt announcing that my cousin had died in his sleep on December 31st. I don't think I have ever literally been in such stunned shock before. For about 10 minutes I sat staring at the page just trying to wrap my mind around this new fact. I started scrolling through the comments and other posts on her page as it sunk in that this terrible news was very real. I called my mom just to see what in the hell was going on and she confirmed that yes it was true and she didn't think that I would have internet access and was going to tell me when I got home (as mentioned above about our unspoken rule). After I got off the phone I just broke down crying. I was so shocked and saddened and I just felt so helpless being so far away from my family. Ange woke up and of course was like "What the hell?" and we spent the rest of the evening in the apartment because I didn't have the energy to go hang out with the students for dinner.

The news of his death stuck with me the entire trip. Because I now had internet access I was able to follow the news from home (almost obsessively) and at the same time that it made me feel connected to home it also reminded me of how far removed from everything I was. It was probably one of the most difficult things I've had to face...knowing that my family was gathering half way around the world and I was in lala land trying to go on with my day to day activities while still having this immense news weighing in the back of my head the entire time.

I realized how technology had impacted my life in so many ways. Without Facebook I would have never known this information but I also wouldn't have been able to go through the grieving process semi-connected to my family. The whole thing was very surreal and I'm still processing it all.

2009 ended on a very sad note, and though these three deaths allowed me to grow and reflect on my life I hope that 2010 will be better and less filled with sadness. RIP Len Cressman, Dale Gatlin, and Dominic Riolo.