Dag, Writing my Butt Off

I realized today that I have blogged my booty off this month! I posted 24 of 30 days this month! I feel very, very accomplished. It wasn't until about a week or so ago that I realized I was really on a roll and then it was like a challenge to myself to finish off the month strong. One thing that helps is that Blogger lets you schedule blogs for future dates so it's not like I actually have to write a blog every single day. If I have some down time and am feeling particularly "writey" (like chatty but for writing!) I can write a few posts and schedule them for a few days in advance and that way if stuff gets busy I can still provide new content for my dear readers. So I know it's not a major post, but just thought I should take note of it.

Wannabe Winos

Ange and I have been trying to be wine appreciators for most of our relationship. Sadly we're both forgetful as hell when it comes to actually drinking wine. We will buy some wine for one reason or another and it will sit around F O R E V E R because we forget to actually drink it! Whenever we do drink a glass or two of wine we like it and it usually goes well with what we are drinking, which is why we continue to be wannabe winos.

Now this is not to say that we are wine enthusiasts and can tell the difference between a "good" wine and a "bad/cheap" wine. In fact, we don't really care if the wine is expensive or not. Sometimes we'll spend $5 on a bottle, sometimes $15. It's rare to go over $20 and we'd need a really good reason to do so. Sam's Club has a surprising array of wine choices, although they tend to have more "fancy" stuff that comes from abroad than anything else. We try and support Indiana Wineries as much as possible, followed by other US brands and rarely something that has taken a long voyage over the ocean. Just another part of our local eating quest.

Now this is not to say we are going to become wine enthusiasts and start going to wine classes or anything. We just like to drink wine every once in a while. Maybe it seems weird to want to cultivate a wine drinking habit since we are not really in to the "stuff" that goes with wine drinking, but that's ok with us. Partially it's because I don't really care about that stuff; I don't want wine-drinking to be a hobby, just something "fun" to spice up an evening every once in a while. Another reason that I'm not way into it is that I come from a family with a history of alcoholism. Not that I'm afraid that I'm going to become an alcoholic because clearly we are NOT in danger of becoming alcoholics since we more often than not forget to drink the wine. But I think when you've seen some of the really nasty sides of alcoholism you tend to seriously downplay the excitement of alcohol. I've never been a big drinker and have never experienced the "thrill" of drinking that many people do (in the US anyway). It's not that I don't drink and haven't drank to excess before but it's just not a big part of my life. So making a bottle of wine the focal point of an evening is unlikely to happen.

Anyway, Ange and I DID remember to have a bottle of wine this weekend and it was nice and it made me think about this blog. So cheers!

And then we cry?

Sometime earlier this summer my mom bought me a Chicken Soup for Pet Lover's Soul book at a garage sale. In case you didn't know, I'm totally a sucker for the Chicken Soup series. Something about sad/cute/sappy stories just get me. And clearly you know I love animals. So Chicken Soup about pets? Forget about it.

Like many things, I threw it in my backseat and kind of forgot about it. One Saturday Ange and I were driving to the Zionsville Farmer's Market and I for some random reason picked it up and was like "Hey, let's have a little read aloud on our way to the market!" Totally bad idea.

I start reading the very first story in the book and I only get a few pages in before I start sniffling. Ange is a little teary eyed but not as much as me. As the story progresses I start crying so much I can't even finish reading. Ange is dying to know the end of the story but I just couldn't do it. So she pulls off into a parking lot to finish the story and as she struggles to finish the story we're both crying our eyeballs out. The story was about a developmentally handicap boy who is homeless and rescues a dog. There are a ton of other little parts of the story that make it even sadder/sweeter but that basically sums it up.

So we're sitting in this parking lot, crying our heads off, and trying to pull it together so we can get to the Farmer's Market without it looking like we just got in a knock down drag out fight. After we finally pulled ourselves together we decided we should NOT read Chicken Soup for Pets in the car ever again, particularly if we'd like to not crash or sit on the side of the road like weirdos, and we are two of the most tender-hearted people on the planet. So ridiculous!

True Story: I Was Majorly Afraid of the Dark

I really, really used to be afraid of the dark. Not when I was two, not when I was five, but until I was about 16 years old. I have a WILDLY overactive imagination and unfortunately was exposed to semi-scary movies as a child and I kid you not I really thought Gremlins were real until I was well into my teens. Ok, maybe I didn't really think they were real, but I thought the possibility of them being real was high. I thought that doing a few things would keep them away: sleeping with the closest closed, keeping my body covered by blankets or sheets at all times--particularly my feet, and sleeping with my door open and the hall light on AND a nightlight on in my room. When I saw Child's Play for the first time I had to banish my talking doll Pamela to the closet (that of course was closed at night so neither Pamela or The Gremlins would get me).

Mostly I was afraid of the dark because I didn't know what would be lurking in the dark. I felt like if I could see what was going on then whatever might want to get me was not going to get me. Nice logic huh? My fear of the dark was reinforced by my loving but also neurotic father. He did not like for us to sleep with our doors closed because he was afraid the house would catch on fire and we wouldn't hear the smoke alarm and would die in our sleep (he had a traumatic experience as a boy related to sleeping and fire). I remember being a kid and going to sleepovers and always being terrified when it was time to turn out all the lights. Gradually I convinced myself that Gremlins or talking dolls, or whatever else wasn't going to get me in a room full of other girls.

As I went into high school I realized that I needed to get over this fear and started trying to sleep with my door closed. At first I slept with the door closed and a nightlight on in the room. Then I gradually phased out the nightlight. It actually took a great period of time. First, my dad tried to thwart the process. He'd wait until he thought I was asleep and then he'd open the door (so I'd hear the smoke alarm), but usually I was not asleep or it would wake me up. So I had to tell my dad to knock it off. He did. After time I finally got over the fear and I haven't looked back since. Now that I think of it, that was some pretty good self-guided re-framing. At the time I was doing it just so I wouldn't be embarrassed that I had to go off to college with a night light.

The even funnier part now is that I loathe sleeping if there are any lights on at all. As anyone I've shared a hotel room with during a conference can tell you, or as my dear sweet lover can tell you, I go to great lengths to cover up annoying lights that blink or shine, like my DVD player power button, or when the curtains are parted just a crack. I'd prefer to sleep in the pitch black. Weird huh?

I bit my tongue!

One of the greatest moments in sister history has been recorded for posterity (although I'm not sure where the tape is at the moment). The fact that it is recorded makes the whole thing even better. If I could find the tape and figure out how to turn it into a digital file it would soooo be worth posting. Hilarious!

So remember the Talk Boy? Made infinitely more famous by Home Alone 2?

Well Leslie got one for Christmas one year and one of the big bonuses from our point of view is that it had a little switch that allowed you to synthesize your voice. You could record it on normal and hit the switch and it would make your voice slower and deeper or you could record it on slow and then play it on normal speed and you'd sound like a chipmunk. So of course we spent hours recording ridiculous things; Leslie and Hilary spent considerably more time than me. They used to make up weird shows and interview each other. One of the most famous was "The Three Quarters of an Inch Show" (who knows what they did for that show...measure things maybe?" and "Dweebs and Geeks....Of California." I'm telling you, we're all weirdos. Some of our favorite family phrases (besides "And then we die?") come from the Talk Boy tapes. For instance "wacko y wacko" which was used to describe one of the character's behavior on "Dweebs and Geeks...of California." The definition literally was "when something is so funny you laugh and your head falls off." To which the reply is always "Ahaha...my head's falling off." (Sisters, we really need to find the tape!). Another phrase is "And when he drives, he always crashes," which described the older brother's character.

So besides the ridiculous "shows" they recorded, the single funniest recording I've ever heard occurred on a random day at Grandma's house. Leslie starts off the tape singing Green Day and talking about how bored she is, which is hilarious alone, and then you hear Leslie asking Hilary to "name something you want to do" and then Hilary shrieking and crying at the top of her lungs. Now, Leslie's never been a very sensitive child, but the conversation that ensues is just golden.

Leslie: What did you do?
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: What. Did. You. Doooo?
Hilary: (garbled) I bit my tongue!
Leslie: You bit your tongue?
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Why did you do that?
Hilary: I was jumping off the slide.
Leslie: You're fine.
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Oh shut up
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Ugh, SHUT UP
Hilary: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: WELL, you shouldn't have been jumping down from there!
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Ugh, I hit my nose and I didn't cry forever!
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Ugh, well, you know you shouldn't be jumping down from there and it's your own fault!
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Oh wah. Booooo hoooooo.
Hilary: EEEEEEEEE. Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Hehe! Cry for the live audience, right here on Talk Boy!
Hilary: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Leslie: Thank you for your needs!

What I didn't mention is that this is all set on the chipmunk speed. So she's taunting Hilary with this tiny squeeky voice which makes it even more hilarious. Clearly Leslie was destined to be an elementary school teacher. Such sympathy.

It's cases like this where Hilary likes to remind us that we were jerks and that is why she gets grumpy easily.

And you know what we say to that?

WAHHHH, I hit my nose and I didn't cry forever!

You're gonna die...

In the spirit of the sister blog, I thought I'd immediately recount one of my all time favorite sister stories. The story actually doesn't really have anything to do with me or Hilary, but it does show Leslie in her shining glory.

In 1988 my parents rudely decided that they would be moving back to Indiana and therefore kill our glory days of sunshine in dear California. In preparation for the move they helped bring up the topic so we could all have lovely family discussions about the move and hopefully the transition would go smooth. Leslie was a little over 3 when this all was occurring and she also recently had been introduced to the concept of death and dying. Like many children she became fascinated by the topic, and actually began to be a little obsessive about it. Like a good mother my mom would discuss it with her and help clarify the concept while at the same time reassuring her in a simple child's explanation that only old people die so she didn't need to worry. But after several months of the death obsession my mom was both worried about her obsession and a little tired of the same conversation over and over. She discussed the matter with the pediatrician who reassured her that it was natural and that her obsession probably stemmed from feelings about the big move. He assured her she would grow out of it eventually and to just continue as she was doing. So she did.

My grandma thought my mom was dramatizing the situation more than it needed to, even though my mom tried to explain how creepy it was to have the little harbinger of death following her everywhere she went. Then one day we were all riding in the car singing happy children's songs (we sing a lot in our family) and enjoying a nice sunny California afternoon, when all of a sudden my dear sister pipes up with "Grandma...you're gonna die." Now this was nothing new to my mom but it did startle my grandma. My mom gave her an "I told you it was creepy" look. And my grandma did her best to be positive and reaffirming "Yes Leslie, everyone dies." To which Leslie replies "But you're gonna die first cause your OLD," which sent my mom into a fit of giggles. Then my grandma grasped what my mom had been trying to tell her.

So what put an end to it? Was it my mom's patience and loving understanding of her child's fears?

Hell no!

One day when we were discussing the move that was now right around the corner my mom was talking to Leslie and saying "Daddy is going to go get a BIG truck and we're going to put all of your toys and clothes in boxes and put them in the big truck. And then we're going to drive and drive and drive and then stay the night in a hotel and then get up in the morning and drive and drive and drive and then stay the night in a hotel again and then get up the next morning and drive and drive and drive and then we'll be in Indiana!"

And Leslie says "And then we die?"

And my mom just loses her shit at the point and shrieks "WE'RE NOT GOING TO DIE! QUIT TALKING ABOUT DYING!!!" which promptly scares Leslie right out of that phase.

Apparently not all children can be coddled through obsessions. Sometimes you just need to freak out on them and that will do just fine.

And of course, because we are hilarious, one of our key phrases that still lives on to this day is "And then we die?" Even Ange has taken up the habit and sometimes I'll be like "And then we can go to the Farmer's Market and get some stuff" to which Ange will say "And then we die?" and we'll both crack up.

Sister Power!

If you are a frequent reader you've probably noticed that my sisters come up often in my blog posts. And that's because we're all besties. I always think it's funny when people comment about how close my sisters and I are, mainly because I couldn't imagine it any other way. That's not to say I can't imagine a world where other people don't adore their sisters or brothers because neither one of my parents are close to their sisters or brothers (and actively dislike their siblings in some cases), and in fact, I see more non-adoring siblings than adoring ones. But for me personally, I can't imagine what my life would be like without them. Even though I am the oldest and technically lived without any siblings for 4 and a half years of my life, I can't remember my life without sisters. Mostly it's because I have a crappy memory, but when I look back at my childhood most of my favorite memories (and certainly the funniest ones) involve them. I would not be who I am without my sisters, and probably even more so, without being the oldest sister. I can't say for sure how each of us would be different if we weren't born into the birth order we were, but I think where we were born into relation with each other has really shaped who were are as people.

Some of the things I like best about having sisters are the following:

• I almost always have someone to hang out with. This has been changed somewhat recently by Leslie getting married and Hilary moving away to Michigan for vet school, but we still make time for each other whenever we can. And even when we aren't face-to-face we are still involved with each other's lives via phone, texts, emails, Facebook, etc.
• I have a shared history with my sisters. Whether it is recounting old stories that are hilarious or being able to communicate in some shorthand kind of way it's nice to know that I don't always have to explain everything to them because they just "get it."
• It doesn't matter what we do we always have fun. Whether we are watching a movie, going to Target, having study tables, or just staring at each other and laughing (in a good way!) I never feel like I'd rather be somewhere else. Even when one of us is crabby we can usually find a way to get out of the mood and still have fun. When I have to leave the company of my sisters I almost always feel a little sad. And if my sisters are hanging out without me I feel extra sad because I know they are having so much fun.
• I know my sisters and I love and appreciate each other no matter what. Even if we make fun of each other or don't always agree on issues, I know that we love each other despite all of those other things. I don't think there is anything that my sisters could do that would make me love them any less and I feel like we are supportive of each other through good times and bad.

I think one of the most important things that other people need to know about us is that you better not try and divide and conquer us. I'm just going to put it out there: we're damn fierce as a trio. You aren't just going up against one of us, you are going up against three of us. I will karate chop you in the throat if you mess with one of my sisters.

Although not oppositional the next point is semi-related: I think that one of the things that our respective partners have to know is that you don't just get one of us with your relationship, you get all of us. I know that was one of the hardest adjustments for Clint when he married Leslie. He didn't realize the extent to which he was getting a wife AND two sister in laws. The relationship he has with his sister is no where near similar to ours so he didn't expect the degree that he would be intertwined with us. Ange learned and adapted more quickly than Clint, but I think it was still somewhat of a shock to the system in the beginning. Hilary likes to try and hide her romantic partners from us, but I think once she realizes that the benefits of having nosy ned sisters far outweighs the negatives she'll come around. She just hasn't met anyone we think is good enough for her yet, so hiding the losers away is fine. When she's met "the one" I think she'll realize that one of the qualities he exhibits will be a love of her AND her family. I can say this because I am the oldest sister and therefore the wisest :)

Anyway, hopefully this gave you a little more insight to my relationship with my sisters. I think I'm going to start posting some funny sister stories in the near future so hopefully you will enjoy them as much as I do.